A New Bloom

I had another epiphany not too long ago and for those of you who are a bit sensitive about such topics, you may be offended. That’s okay, so long as you play nice and remember that we are all entitled to our opinions and epiphanies. I won’t dog you for yours, so please don’t dog me for mine. Thanks so much — you know I love you, right?Anyhow …There are two types of girls: girlie girls and practical girls.Today’s post is about girlie girls, also known as princesses.The Red Queen from the updated version of Alice in Wonderland is a great princess.She is self-absorbed, expects everyone around her to do her bidding, and cares not about the feelings of others.Girlie girls do frilly dresses and are often treated by others as princesses, which sticks in their core memory. Liken that to what folks often call the male reptilian brain; women have this basic brain part as well, despite suggestions to the contrary.But I digress.The problem with treating girlie girls as princesses is that they start to believe that’s what they actually are. They become self-absorbed and expect everyone to cater to them.When they play, they try to stay tidy. The princess plays ‘family’ with her dollies, during which time she decides the roles of each member. Barbie always has the house in Malibu and the pink convertible that Ken pays for.The princess grows up to be the girlie woman.Girlie women, who are still trying to live the princess life, are easy to spot.If they are not in a relationship, they are complaining and fussing about all the things men (it’s typically men … these issues may occur in same-sex relationships as well, but since that’s not my thing I can’t speak to it) do wrong and how that guy is the archetype for all men. Yet, the princess will have no problem posting memes regularly on social media, indicating that she is waiting for her king.I’ll get back to that in a minute.If a princess woman is in a relationship, she probably dishes to her princess woman friends about her personal business. If the man she is with comes into the room, all the other princess women’s heads swivel in his direction and they affix him with the death stare.The princess woman loves to play dress-up and go to parties. It matters not if those heels are killing her bunions — she’d never take them off to run through the sprinklers. If her partner is still a fun-loving guy and suggests she take a break from being so uptight for a dash through the sprinklers, she will be very angry that he would even make such a suggestion. After all, did he not remember how much she paid for that designer dress she was wearing?If there are relationship issues, the princess woman tells her princess friends instead of talking to her man.Let us pause for a real-life moment here.I’ve been in ladies’ only meetings, like at churches or when I worked in the hamster wheel world (cue with people, like outside my home, instead of on the interwebz where a cool screen separates me and keeps the other humans safe), where such discussions come up. One such conversation is particularly memorable and has been repeated in varying degrees over the years.One princess woman begins to complain about something her man (who she describes as her king) wanted her to do in an intimate situation. She flaps her hands in disgust, indicating that she is a lady and would never do such things.Another princess woman agrees, but says it’s okay if her king provides such pleasures to her.I say nothing, at which point those judgmental eyes turn to me.In the original conversation, one princess woman smirked and said, ‘I bet she does that,’ referring to me and to said intimate act respectively.As all of the princess women in the room were by their own admission people of faith, I replied, ‘The Bible says that what is done in the marriage bed is not defiled. To me, that means what goes on between folks in their own homes is their business.’Can you hear the crickets?Yep. That answer short-circuited the conversation and gave me time to exit the room because a non-princess girl doesn’t tell her business.The problem with the princess women’s logic that I wish I’d been insightful enough to comment on at the time is two-fold:

• The first princess complains about what the man (who loves her) is asking.
• The second princess complains but says even though she won’t do what the man (who loves her) is asking, he can do it for her.

Remember the Red Queen who cares not for the feelings of others?Note that these princesses want relationships with kings.However, kings don’t want princesses.Kings want queens.In their relationships, princesses expect to be taken care of. Remember when the girlie-girl played with her dollies? Once grown up, princesses expect to change their man into the king they want him to be, instead of truly seeing him for the man he is.The relationship is many times not a partnership but a contract — the man takes care of the princess and her needs. No matter what. Period.Children brought into this union often turn into unpleasant persons who are used to seeing their parents fight or just treat one another poorly. They may come to envision divorce as the expectation. Miserable moms who dislike men in general but want to be with men are often a standard. Angry dads who aren’t comfortable moving forward into new relationships are often a standard as well.And it for these reasons that princesses hate the other type of girl. More on her tomorrow.