Furtive … Such a wonderful word. It’s the one that came to mind as I laid in bed this morning. The day had started without me — it wasn’t yet bright, but there was light outside, which filtered in through the bathroom windows. The running joke when I bought this house was that the person who owned it was a vampire. During the walk-through, we couldn’t see the bedroom very well because he had it super-dark in there; the story we actually got was that he worked nights, slept days, that sort of thing. I do like the vampire story…
-
-
I first thought the keyboard emoji for a heart was a kiss. <3 The ‘3’ are the lips and the ‘<‘ was the pucker. I used it voraciously, as if I’d found a new toy. And then the toy broke: I think I posted the ‘kiss’ on a site that auto-changed the keystrokes to a real emoji and up popped the heart. I was devastated. I tried to argue with myself that it could still be a heart. I could pick up the broken pucker, the full lips, put them back together and Voila! All better. Except it wasn’t. Image…
-
Photo from ppetn.com You likely know that I love technology. However, I wasn’t always in love with it. When the internet first arrived in our homes, buzzing and whistling with those interesting connection noises, I was not interested. I avoided it for quite some time, much like those ‘old timers’ who said telephones were going the way of the dodo. But here we are, right? I’m all about tech. I work online, basically spending 300 hours a day in front of a screen. Once social media came into play, I was hesitant and didn’t dive in quickly either. I am…
-
‘I know you do not trust me right now, but I promise I am not your enemy’ (line from the film) I have the honor of engaging almost weekly with the social justice community as a partner with The Breakdown, a show that grew out of the project started by activist Shaun King. He hosts the show on Twitch and last week, part of the discussion was around this idea of cancel culture. Have you heard of it? The idea is that if someone says something I don’t like or disagree with, I can remove myself from the connection with…
-
Why are some people able to just say what they feel with as much ease as others turn on and off a faucet? Why are others of us plagued by pre-planning the conversation, attempting to identify every potential outcome and response to the outcome and then outcome to the response to the outcome … ? There are times when all that pre-planning leads to an emotional Hulk-out. If you’ve never watched any movies with the Hulk or the old television show, you’ve missed out. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gSsrwZDA3Q&w=560&h=315] Needless to say, most of us don’t change like Bruce Banner, but maybe we…
-
I couldn’t recall if I’ve ever written about courageous conversations before. Of course, I paused to search and nope, no hits. I guess it’s no surprise since a person must be … courageous in some way … to have a courageous conversation. I’ve been voraciously watching Michaela Coel on ‘I May Destroy You’. Michaela Coel is amazing. Photo from Vanity Fair: https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2020/07/michaela-coel-i-may-destroy-you-interview I had to write in my personal journal about one bit of one episode that had my mind reeling for days. Actually, they all do, but this one … in it, Arabella (played by Ms. Coel) tells her…
-
I lay in the dark with my eyes closed as my beloved rubs his hand lightly across my back. We are silent. The room is silent, save the steady rustle of fans on low that shift the edges of the sheets. The house is silent, save the occasional pacing of a dog on patrol. A film begins to play on the inside of my closed but awake and alert eyelids: like a home movie re-discovered, it flickers. It’s my dad. As my beloved’s hands travel down my spine and up my side again, I suddenly recall a day, not unlike…
-
I’ve been reading a book called Burnout by Nagoski and Nagoski. My counselor recommended it and I do, too, even though I’m not finished with it yet. There were lots of bits I earmarked and underlined in the early pages, but what really nabbed me was the discussion of the inner madwoman. I’m paraphrasing but the idea is that we all have an inner madwoman, who lives in the attic (our minds); she is the bridge between who we are and who we think we are supposed to be. She says and does all the things we don’t dare. There…
-
It’s just gone 4am and I’ve had about 12 ounces of red wine. Don’t judge. I woke up before 2:30, jolted from sleep by the pain in my arm. It’s not a heart attack or anything like that — I think I have a pinched nerve. However, I can’t rest, whatever it is. I can’t lay on my side. Either one. I am reminded of Christopher’s advice about ‘left sims’: when you lay on your left side to help indigestion. When he’d said it to me so many years ago, I had a lightbulb-flash of memory back to being in…
-
Courtesy: asnoosylife Well, compassion fatigue is something different, sure, but it all boils down to being … fatigued. I mentioned in my post from yesterday that I’m either fighting a pinched nerve, carpal tunnel, or both; on top of that, I am just mentally and emotionally exhausted. Have been for longer than I care to try and figure. However, I’ve started taking better care of myself. For example, I’m typing this post from my new Kinesis Gaming Keyboard: it’s split in the middle and I got lifts for it, so my hands rest at a more natural angle. It will…